Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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