I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
