these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
