God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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