weddingsv make me drug and hornr
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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