I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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