Dude my mom stole all your condoms
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
