the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
