Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize