He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
