so explain again why im purple
no
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
