i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize