the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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