The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize