There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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