I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
