The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
