some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
