when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
