we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
