I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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