I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am one with the molecules
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
