I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
