hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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