Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
im holly from the hills drunk
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
