I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
