it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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