Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
