Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
