I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
