so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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