I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize