On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
