and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
