I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
