Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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