a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
