I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
