You really coming over, don't trick.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
