With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
