is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize