eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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