You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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