Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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