can u get pink eye on your cock?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize