Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
