he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
