I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
