ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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