Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
