you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
