what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
