Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
