guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize