i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dick very happy bro
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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