he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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