I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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