the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
