Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Someone shit on the floor
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize