If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
