butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
