Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
