***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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