i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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