who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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