Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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