so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
