Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
