drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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