i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
