i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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