I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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