ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
