Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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