their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
