WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
